DAY 12: SHOULDN’T YOU HAVE SPIKEY FROSTED GREEN TIPS?  I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DESIGNER?

As much as I like showing my work and talking about my design process there is something that is extremely nerve wrecking about doing a formal presentation about it.  By the time I got to the other fancy hotel fro my presentation I had practiced the speech twice, a surprisingly good amount of times knowing me.  I was brought to me seat, the VIP second row, I’m not sure what would qualify me as a VERY important person, I think it’s the red beard and the fact that I tower over most of the people in the room, and I didn’t even wear my heals today (just kidding mom, I don’t own heals my size). 

The entire time leading up to my time to shine I was expecting the entire audience to turn to me with faces saying, why the HELL aren’t you up on the stage you fat lazy AMERICAN, so even though I couldn’t understand a single thing the host or anyone was saying I listened out for David Ferron and Parsons.  Eventually the guy translating my speech came over to me an warned that I was about to go on, it was nice and cool in there so I was able to wear one of the five blazers I packed for the first time of the trip.

I stared out a little shaky with the first slide but because I had to pause after every slide so the translator could catch up, I had a chance to calm down and stop drooling.  After the first slide the next sixteen went off without a hitch, I remembered the point of each slide and even did some ad lib action here and there.  Although I did not add the personality and jokes I would normally have in a speech, because of the language barrier, I did get applause at the final slide.

After my presentation we ran out to grab a quick bite to eat, I think we had one of my favorite dishes on the whole trip.  It was a baked cauliflower dish and it was THE BOMB, I could have had an entire second order, and no that’s not just because I’m a fat ass, Chris.  By the time we got back the forum was coming to a close and we caught the closing thoughts of the host.  This is when I finally got the looks I was anticipating. 

The host raises his hand points at me while speaking and simultaneously every person and camera was facing me.  Naturally I couldn’t understand a LICK of it, never mind the fact that most of the people staring at me were either giggling or smirking at me.  So I politely looked at the host, smiled and gave him the stare of “I’m smiling right now but if I find out you are trash talking me I WILL BE GOD DAMNED if I’m taking a final photo with you!”

Fortunately I did not need to pull any diva antics, the woman sitting next to me, who was also a speaker and happened to be bilingual, noticed me squirming in my seat and frantically looking around for my translator, so she leaned over.  “Don’t worry, the host is just saying how well dressed and professional you are.  He was expecting a “designer” to be wearing some crazy outfit and to have spiky hair with frosted green tips, and you look like a perfect gentleman.”  So I posed with him for the press.

After some mingling and having someone come up and tell me that they ADMIRE me, we were told to go to room 333 for diner.  I was not exactly sure what was going on in room 333, it sounded like the beginning to a horror movie, but 3 is my lucky number so I went.

What was to follow was the private VIP room and the largest lazy Susan we have encountered the entire trip, and of course it was filled an assortment of savory dishes.  We all toasted to a successful day and had a delicious meal.